I think I've lost sight of whats important in my life! I chose to stay at home with my kids. To be here for them 24 hours a day, round the clock mommy time. I chose this profession because I didn't want someone else raising my kids. Well then I sit here and I think about it. Why am I not having fun? Why am I so concerned with keeping this perfect model home, and obsessing over stupid things like spotless windows and a clean laundry room!! Yes I know. How ridiculous. Thats where all the dirty stuff goes. And I picture it in my mind like this organized, dirt free, decorated, fake, non-existent room. I don't want to stay at home all day and clean! I want to focus on my babies. I want to be a MOM! I want to sit down and play a game with my kids, run outside and build a snowman and not worry about what we are going to track back in on my newly moped floor. Instead of telling Austy "let me finish these dishes before I go look at your tent" I'm going to be making it with her and then having a picnic in her beautifully crafted tent! Now I'm not saying my house will be unsanitary, but I don't want it to be my main focus every day. Seriously, you scrub your floor and the next thing you know there's raspberry lemonade all over. I want to look back on their childhood and say that I actually got down and played with them. I interacted with them. I enjoyed and treasured every moment I was given with them. They are my life!
2 days ago