I heard this today and thought Alan wrote this little ditty just for us
(except she's not a mother or wife)
Its down below in 'my faves' if you want to listen
Sissy's Song
Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, wife and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Loved ones she left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
Then asking for His love
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
They'll always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
I know my mom and dad read this often and I want them to know how much I love them. I'm so proud of them. They raised 2 of the best daughters!!!! We were such a close family. We always did dinner together. ALWAYS!!! There were only a few occasions when we got older with school activities that we couldn't sit down together for a meal. We use to talk so much at dinner that my dad would get upset because we weren't eating. That is where we shared everything. Such treasured memories. I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget Raechale's voice, her smile, our special jokes, her smell, her laugh. Right after she passed I panicked because I wouldn't be able to hear her voice anymore. It. killed. me. I took a tape recorder and I recorded her cell phone message. over and over and over. I don't think people realize what the rest of our lives are going to entail. What we have to live with. Yeah, some days are beautiful. We remember her in exact detail and then other days they fade. Her laugh fades out, her smile and perfectly straight teeth. Gorgeous brown eyes. Have I ever told you we planned her funeral for Feb. 21st, her boyfriend didn't tell us that was his birthday until a few days later. Yeah, That right there is not fair. NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!
*I'm sorry mom and dad you have to read this. Please Don't feel bad if you don't want to continue*
His parents had planned to fly into Utah to spend his birthday with him and meet Raechale, the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. But instead they were here to hold his hand through the dark. There are so many details of those weeks that seem to just flitter by. I was a zombie. I didn't want to face the truth. This right here is me grieving, my coping method. So please bare with me, don't judge. I have these bad days but they are few and far between. I need these moments to move on in a healthy way. Thanks for listening!
13 comments:
Make me cry, why don't you.
You'd have to be a zombie to get through that. Otherwise you'd go crazy and end up a mental case.
She did have perfect teeth, didn't she?? Crest Poster Kid.
I'm going to modify that post and redo it tomorrow, just for you. I just kind of went a little crazy and realized that it may just offend people. Needed a lil toning down. I know, me, tone down. Yes, even I can do it.
Melissa, don't ever apologize! After the loss of a loved one I don't think anyone is put together and handling things. Grief comes at all times and at all activities. I am glad you have this to use as an outlet. We love you!
I think that not knowing the Why is so hard. I cannot even imagine how hard that was and still is to go through. I understand that the coping doesn't just fade away with time, i think it gets harder, but know that we have a Father in Heaven who loves us so much, and he understands our pains. Let me know if there is anything I can do, even just if you want someone to listen to you, I understand, sometimes that is all I want is someone to talk to and just listen. You are strong, I hope that you have a good day today
Meg
What a selfless guy he must be to not have said something about that being his birthday. I've said it a million times, but I can't imagine what you went through and never feel like you have to apologize. This is your blog! It's you're place to write whatever you want, and if people don't like it they don't have to read it.
I love ALL your posts. You are so authentic and you write just what you think and feel...good for you! I think you are amazing and your sister would be, IS, she is so proud of you!
Hey Amanda Lopez asked me to tell you she said hi, and that she thinks of you all the time :)
BTW,to answer your questions from a week or so ago, #3 is yes, baby #3! No stitches...lukcy me!
I didn't know you were dealing with the anniversary of your dear sister passing. I'm sorry. You are right to talk about your feelings to help move past the grief.
You are in my prayers.
Melissa, can I just say I love you. You never know what some people are thinking and it is refreshing that you can share so easily. It sucks to loose people!! I know I miss my brother everyday. You can't help thinking about them. Good for you to get it out because it is a healthy coping mechanism.
Melissa, I didn't know about your sister, I'm so sorry. I lost my only sister to cancer 10 years ago this May. It took lots of time, but eventually the bad days started to be fewer and far between.
I know exactly what you mean about the cell phone message - we have tapes of her from her mission, and my family will always treasure those. It's amazing how many little things and memories fly back to your mind just from hearing their voice!
Thanks for sharing that song, I hadn't heard it before. Hang in there!
Melissa,
It scares me to think that I have to really try to hear raechale's laugh anymore and hear her say " i love you" while she was laughing and usually it was because I was such a nerd. I love to fall upon a journal entry talking about her or reading her little notes in my yearbook or seeing her BEAUTIFUL picture somewhere. She sure is beautiful and I hope there is something I can do to help you remember what a joy you and your family are and know you are so great to share your family with us! I sure love you!!
Kerianda
I love when you share about Rachaele - not that I like you to be sad or anything, but that it's a big deal, and it's nice to learn more about her and that you have ways to deal with it all. Nice song.
I had a thought about you commenting on her not being a wife or mother. I did a lesson today on the divine role of women...motherhood and being a wife. She fits both of those roles very well. A nurturer of children and those around her, as well as supporting the man she loved. I know she is watching you and your family. We are so blessed to have the knowledge of the gospel and how everything works. I am so glad you I know you both. Also for the things you have both taught me as well as continue. Love you!
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