* Christmas 2010 was a ball. Our family was complete and Cody didn't have to work. The kids enjoyed every last minute with Brody's four wheeler and Austy her American Girl Doll. But the best is obviously being with family. Nothing beats cuddling up and enjoying a little Christmas Vacation.
* January brought with it the obsession of THe Wizard of Oz. Brody and Austyn were just infatuated with it. Seriously when Netflix removed it from the instant list Brody shed a tear. He was in love with the green witch. He'd sit there glued to the tube with his fingers in his mouth!!
* February brought a Birthday for my Brody. #3. I just can't fathom where the time has gone. Potty trained-no. speaking fluent English-no. well behaved little boy-no. But best looking brown -eyed boy I know of-yes. He melts me like no other. "neese no spank me mom". I hear that phrase about 5 times a day. Priceless!!
But February also brought with it alot of pain and sadness. Grieving for a loved one does not get easier. It doesn't pass in the first few years. For me it has only gotten harder. Every year there is that awful reminder of 'the day'. The day we all lost a piece of us. I know i am not the same person I was when Raech was here. Oh, how I miss her. And every year that passes it hurts more. The realisation that I will not see her or hug her until its my time to go devastates me. I literally feel it hurt inside my chest when I think about what could have been. This year I spent a good week in my pajamas, lost. She had friends come out and meet with the 'rents' and go to lunch to reminisce. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't will myself to go see their smiley faces and talk about Raech in the former tense. I told my dad there are days were you push back the memories of Raech just to get through the day, to function for the ones left here. But in all of this I've made progress. I've let myself open up a little bit=It's OK to remember those smiles, those hugs, those amazing sister talks. It's OK to be mad and absolutely devastated. It's OK to have a breakdown and even alright for others to see those emotions. It was a tough month.
*March brought Easton's 1st birthday. Oh that little easy going toad. He is going to be able to handle anything with a brother like Brody. He has an amazing 5 tooth grin and gray eyes. Wonder if that will be a permanent color? walking-no. weaned-no. sleeping through the night- yes!!!!
What you've waited for mom.......
Christmas Eve 2010
Practicing for Halloween '11
Watching the Wizard of Oz for the 1st time 
Cody is a tad worried.
I love the way he is envying her
tada
The whole fam damly
the dress up king
Jungle Jim's, Brody b-day, his face says it all. Look at Austy's :)
Mine??
Put 'em up bucko
um, I don't know about this
seriously best sister ever!!!
My last baby??? Who knows.
I'm ready for Spring!! I'm ready to see little ones in my backyard while I make dinner. Swinging in the sunshine. Running around with Sadie, playing catch. Eating ice cream and riding their bikes up and down our street. Oh those days are so close I can smell them. Woo Hoo!!
17 comments:
Heh heh. Sandlot. Love it.
You have such a cute family! Wish my kids would sit through a friggin movie. Sheesh. And if Easton has 5 teeth, he has as many as Eva does- and she's nearly 2.
Also, you're amazing, lady. Much stronger than I would be. You're in my prayers. (Yes, I pray. Don't act so shocked.)
I still read! :) I'm so sorry you had such a tough month. You're a super strong girl...I can't imagine losing a loved one the way you did. I look up to you!! And your family is so durned cute! Those little munchkins just keep growing and growing!! Easton is such a mini Brody it's crazy!!
so cute Melissa!! I love when you update. Your family is so cute and it is fun to see. It looks so busy and like there is a lot of laughter :) I can't wait for the weather to get warmer. I think it is close too, even though it just snowed last night. It will melt though :)
Anika was JUST asking about Austyn the other day. I am glad I follow your blog so I can catch up with you. I am sorry about your friend. death is such a hard thing to cope with especially when we lose someone as young as we are ( ok you are mUCh younger than me lol)
Lets get together at the park again. You need to meet our newest boy too. WE finalize our adoption on the 21st of March!! He is the same age as Easton, just turned a year in Feb.
I love your blog Meliss...I still read it!!! Your family is so adorable!! I'm sorry that February is so hard I can't even imagine. I lost a sister too but not the way you did. You're such a strong person.
Your family is so dang cute!!! I can't believe Easton is 1 this month. That is just crazy to me! Brody and Austyn are getting so big too. Austyn looks like she is an amazing big sister!
I'm sorry February was so hard. I can't imagine the pain you go through losing your sister/best friend. I'm sure as she watches down on your family she is so proud of you guys. I agree that it gets harder losing someone every year. You may not think about it all day everyday like you did at first, but when it does come up (even once a day) it hits you like a ton of bricks.
I was thinking about you during February. I am so sorry I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose your sis. I can't wait for summer either.
Cute kiddos! Sorry you had a yucky February. Makes me feel all angry inside that anyone has to go through that, but even though you might not feel like it, you are an inspiration to others. Thanks for always sharing your testimony!
Medusa;
Thanks for the update on your blog. Sure is wonderful to see those little ones grow up in a Christ like, Loving atmosphere.
February was a tough month for all of us and as I have said before we will live with Raech again, FOREVER!!!!! And also don't forget how much I Love you!
Keep up the fantastic work.
Love Daddio!!!!!
YES we do read it! I check all the time! Was waiting for a new post!
Wanted to tell ya I went private, tried to find ya on Facebook, no luck!
Email me your email address so I can send you an invite to my blog!
Also, don't know if this is odd or not but was thinking we should get together and let our kids meet and play. you have gorgeous kids and I really admire you! Would love to get to know you!
my email is
mazadagal-21@hotmail.com
Finally got a chance to read the whole post!
Christmas looks like a blast! We wanted to get Harbor an American Doll and never did, maybe next year!
I kinda understand how you feel with death. My dad passed away Feb 28th,2009. It def doesn't get easier, and noone understands why you don't want to go anywhere or do anything! I adorded my Dad, watching him die was the most painful thing ever. Knowing that Harbor will never know him the way I did breaks my heart.
I'd say hang in there, but that is so not nice. You don't just "hang in there"!
Love the pictures! Nail painting :) I am sure that will happen in our house soon enough, big sis Harbor and lil brother soon to be here!
I'm still reading!! I'm so sorry about your sister, sometimes its hard to remember the good things when it hurts so much! I think you are amazing, and look at how happy your kids are!
my clothes were always out of style! and i love that movie! That was one thing that Raechale tried to help me with, even though her offering to help me was almost a disaster because she was a stinking toothpick and i wasn't even close to that! so funny!
Melissa, I wish i could somehow ease the hurt you and your family have with losing Raechale, i also wish i could ease my own, which isn't in anything to comparison to you! I actually had a dream with Raechale in it the other night and i woke up weeping, even though she was laughing and we were going to meet up later in the dream i was so empty when i woke up! I have really struggled thinking how silly it is that I wasn't with her all the time, but how I can feel so much pain, I love your family! I read your dad's comment and thought, you can be a family forever now and your parents can be together now and that didn't happen until Raechale wasn't here, maybe that is the ONE blessing that came sooner than it would have(?) I was trying to think of how to just put things out of my mind and not think or feel so bad about all the what if's and dreams that were cut short for now and i came across the scripture in D&C 42:45 that says, "thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die" In the True To The Faith book it says that "mourning is one of the deepest expressions of love. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life." I thought about how the more the sorrow the more love you had and your family has an amazing amount of love and that is why you have an equal amount of sorrow. I pray for you and your family and LOVE reading your blog! You are so real, I love it! Tell your family I love them and thanks for showing me the amount of love that a family can have!!!!!
Kerianda
I love how you mention "no one ever reads this anymore" and you get a bazillion comments. I think I might have to try that! hehe
Can I tell you how much I love the pictures you post? They always somehow show each member of your fam's personality to a tee! I love it! What cute kiddos you have.
And I'm sorry Feb was a hard month. I was thinking of your often throughout it. I hope you know how wonderful you are. You're strength amazes me. I have no idea how it feels to go through what your family had to, but it makes me so angry for your fam and any other fam who is forced to face such pain. Let me know if you ever need anything.And I really do mean that. :)
I love your posts! You are such a wonderful mom and have such a passion when you talk about your kiddos. I can't imagine the pain you feel, your a strong women.
Your make such cute babies, you should have a million!!! Me, you, and Jessica T should have a play date sometime when it gets warm.
I'll be the next one to say I still check your blog, so thanks for updating!
Just wanted to let you know I love ya!
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