Nobody probably reads this anymore but for the sake of my parents and my own memories here we go-
* Christmas 2010 was a ball. Our family was complete and Cody didn't have to work. The kids enjoyed every last minute with Brody's four wheeler and Austy her American Girl Doll. But the best is obviously being with family. Nothing beats cuddling up and enjoying a little Christmas Vacation.
* January brought with it the obsession of THe Wizard of Oz. Brody and Austyn were just infatuated with it. Seriously when Netflix removed it from the instant list Brody shed a tear. He was in love with the green witch. He'd sit there glued to the tube with his fingers in his mouth!!
* February brought a Birthday for my Brody. #3. I just can't fathom where the time has gone. Potty trained-no. speaking fluent English-no. well behaved little boy-no. But best looking brown -eyed boy I know of-yes. He melts me like no other. "neese no spank me mom". I hear that phrase about 5 times a day. Priceless!!
But February also brought with it alot of pain and sadness. Grieving for a loved one does not get easier. It doesn't pass in the first few years. For me it has only gotten harder. Every year there is that awful reminder of 'the day'. The day we all lost a piece of us. I know i am not the same person I was when Raech was here. Oh, how I miss her. And every year that passes it hurts more. The realisation that I will not see her or hug her until its my time to go devastates me. I
literally feel it hurt inside my chest when I think about what could have been. This year I spent a good week in my pajamas, lost. She had friends come out and meet with the 'rents' and go to lunch to reminisce. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't will myself to go see their smiley faces and talk about Raech in the former tense. I told my dad there are days were you push back the memories of Raech just to get through the day, to function for the ones left here. But in all of this I've made progress. I've let myself open up a little bit=It's OK to remember those smiles, those hugs, those amazing sister talks. It's OK to be mad and absolutely devastated. It's OK to have a breakdown and even alright for others to see those emotions. It was a tough month.
*March brought Easton's 1st birthday. Oh that little easy going toad. He is going to be able to handle anything with a brother like Brody. He has an amazing 5 tooth grin and gray eyes. Wonder if that will be a permanent color? walking-no. weaned-no. sleeping through the night- yes!!!!
What you've waited for mom.......
Christmas Eve 2010
Practicing for Halloween '11
Watching the Wizard of Oz for the 1st time
just had to add this, a whistle and a miners light. He's off to do some serious workin' 
pardon the eyes but she was so in love with this chickadee 
brody contemplating the farm life...... 
